Tag: Music

Always: On losing our best American girl

“Please don’t.” Her final t was hard, bitten, staccato. Rude. Entitled. I’ve heard that in my ear all day.

Violet’s Bliss shop, Queens.

This morning around 7:45, walking down 7th Avenue in Chelsea to go to my ophthalmologist (yeah, dilation is a bitch in the morning, but if you wait till afternoon, when everyone else wants to go, you can’t get out of there before six, even if your appointment is at three). Beautiful morning—blue and cool, like fall almost.

Seventh Avenue, called “Fashion Avenue” and shown to be glamorous in shows like Project Runway, is a grim, grim stretch from 40th Street to Greenwich Village, where it becomes Varick. It’s possibly my least favorite street or avenue in New York. Just past the subway exit, I passed an unhoused Black man (note: I don’t care what term you use, the situation itself creates a human indignity for which the whole nation should be ashamed to allow) lying asleep on cardboard along a building façade; I soon passed another woman, maybe my age, Black, sitting on the sidewalk, short legged, short arms grasping “gimme,” mouth agape, chewing rhythmically, eating nothing. I walked past, reached into my bag to see if I had any singles, and gave her one. “Good luck to you,” I said, though whether she was even aware I don’t know. I always try to smile, but it hard.

“If you see someone without a smile, give ’em yours.”

~ Dolly Parton

I turned back to walk on when I saw a tall, lithe, long-iron-gray haired muscular white woman of maybe 45 heading into a fancy coffee shop, who said coldly into my face, “Please don’t,” the t especially harsh. My face wasn’t properly chastened apparently, because she added, and right in front of this woman, “You aren’t doing us any favors.” Her eyes said she wanted to fight me; I shook my head and walked on, trusting her morning latte was more important. It was.

Us and Them: The Great White (Supremacist) Hope.

I’m sorry Lorraine Hansberry didn’t live long enough to write a parody of her great play: To Be Middle-Aged, Privileged, and White. This afternoon, learning the news, I thought, What would Dolly do?

I guess that privileged latte white lady would have some words for Dolly, and not very nice ones, “You aren’t doing us any favors.” No, privileged middle-aged white lady, she’s not: she’s investing in the future. Just like I was. Dolly is lost on you.

Coming out of the subway up the stairs at 23rd Street, I was behind a man who had that odor, distinctly unwashed, almost fecal, long-soiled, that I think came from his shoes; he wore a black doorman or security sort of uniform, possibly in need of dry cleaning; his coat and backpack looked light but weighed down his shoulders as only working poverty can. I always want to help such a person get washed. But I don’t. Dolly would have.

All I thought about when learning Dolly Parton died was her heart. I remember her stories, the ones she told on herself, how she saw a woman all painted and tarted up in town and she thought it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Her mama said, “That woman is nothing but trash,” and Dolly said, dreamily, “I want to be trash!”

Killing time before my 8:30 AM eye appointment, I wandered into a Duane Reade drugstore, where I found a few “school supplies” on clearance. Alone in the store, I heard the familiar AI intercom voice, “Customer assistance needed in the laundry detergent aisle,” which I’ve learned in store code for “Possible shoplifter lurking about.” They’ve used that same code for years. It’s comical.

I used to wonder why all the detergents and shampoos and conditioners and deodorants and toothpastes were ending up behind locked plastic windows, until I saw two men walk into my local Walgreens in Queens, casual as you please, no masks, with giant blue canvas bags, striding into separate aisles and bagging shelves of merchandise with a sweep on their languorous arms; the floor manager, a short young woman, was on the phone with the police, standing right beside one of them, but he paid her no mind. The two men exited the store once their bags were full and entered a waiting van.

It’s not like they were robbing the rich to give to the poor; they were pulling a heist to put things on the black market. And what kind a world is it that we don’t share with one another what is needed? When I was a cashier during summers at Dart Drug, for several years, I saw these two little boys, brothers, maybe five and four, and then six and five, seven and six, shirtless and shoeless, who’d try to walk out with vitamins and other items. I would stop them, and the older one would say, “We’re waiting for our parents,” and I’d say, “Why don’t you leave these items with me until they come?” and they’d look at each other, and I was so worried they’d get caught by our manager or beaten by their parents, and it broke my heart. Vitamins, toothpaste. It shouldn’t be.

Without a word, Dolly Parton set up foundations, created jobs (that was behind Dollywood), distributed over one million books to children, and all the while wrote some of the most genius songs in our musical history, performed live worldwide, possibly the most recognizable singer on the whole globe. And she lived in Tennessee, married all her life to the same man, keeping her private life to herself.

When I first saw Dolly Parton, I was maybe five, and it was on the syndicated Porter Wagoner Show, Wagoner a bit star at the Grand Ole Opry at the time, when she was only 19 or so; and I remember even my mom, Lynne—no country music lover—saying, “Well she’s obviously a lot more talented than he is,” and she wondered why Dolly stayed so long only on his show. Ah, contracts and the men who write them. But she was able to move on, writing “I Will Always Love You” as her farewell to Porter.

Thanks, Steve, for sending this picture along.

We’re all thinking the same thing—that God is taking all the wrong white people; and there’s another 80-year-old whom not one person on this entire earth will miss, but it’s not our call. You can’t blame anyone for calling Dolly. “Please don’t,” we say, but this is life.

Deep love and respect to the best of American artists and humans, the likes of which will never be again.

Finally, and I think I speak for Ms. Parton here, don’t be a privileged cunt.

Love to Dolly,

Miss O’

Do give Dolly’s live “Stairway to Heaven” a listen, and get out the tissues.

Postcards from MoMA

Today’s post brought to you by the color turquoise:

Images from my modern art day, or, Why We Are All Going Mad. Queens

I took the subway into Manhattan twice this week, once to a checkup (doing okay, generally) and another for a day off, wherein I went to MoMA(s). For the first trip in, on Wednesday, I walked from my apartment up the street to Queens Blvd. On arriving at the corner light, I looked up to see this man from the neighborhood, maybe 6’5”, always in workout gear (this time a white tee shirt and dark nylon sweats), earbuds in, carrying a blue sack, the kind of plastic bag a lot of stores used to use. He’s tan, with barely graying black hair, probably a few years younger than I am. Without speaking, I have never liked him. Once, twenty years ago at least, Lydia, who used own the corner Chinese restaurant (with her husband before they were able to retire at age 45 or so, having worked for 25 years, 7 days a week, 15 hours a day, no vacations, two boys put through college; they moved to the Chinese enclave, Flushing; I miss them) tried to introduce us, “You both single,” she said as we were waiting for our takeout. We regarded one another, he sitting, I standing, and did not like one another on sight. I saw in his face echoes of that man I dated a few times, the one whose first comment about me was, disappointed, “Oh, you’re smart.”

So for twenty years, we’ve pretended not to see one another—but of course we do. Lots of people in my Queens neighborhood pretend not to see you—they like their privacy, walk in apparent trances, but no one in New York survives walking in a trance; it’s like people put up a protective shield to avoid getting caught up in someone else’s weirdness. I’d tried to greet many of these people and gave up, but now that we’re old, a few of the older ones will kinda meet your eye, a surrender that comes with old age and loneliness.

All of this is just to share one of the comical occurrences of coincidence that really do happen in this city: so Guy I Don’t Like (and whom I rarely see) is at the corner on Queens Blvd, crossing, as I am, over to the elevated 7 Train. Okay. One coincidence. Then, we both turn left up the stairs (he’s on his bluetooth on the phone the whole time), so another one. (Note: I turned left so I can get out at Queensboro Plaza for the N-W to 34th St near the front—since I want to exit the 32nd St side of 34th St stop—you learn these things—so I went in the front of both trains, as the front of the train heading downtown is closer, see?). We each, however, went into different cars. I got out at Queensboro Plaza.

So did GIDL. Seriously? Fortunately, he made a point of heading even farther down to another car.

The N train comes; I reached the Manhattan station, one of dozens of potential stops. I got out to exit up the stairs at 32nd St (my doctor is on 31st St), and, you guessed it, there was the tall white tee shirt and blue sack. HOW? And I know he saw me because I was in a bright turquoise blouse. More than that, at street level GIDL headed toward 7th Avenue and Penn Station, which is where I was headed (to go to the ATM), but all this was creeping me out, so I ditched that plan and headed straight to my doctor’s office at 31st St near 9th Avenue.

And you think, “What am I supposed to learn from this?” Why must my morning be made somehow uncomfortable—he really does give me the creeps—and the truth is, I don’t know.

After the appointment, I decided to take the 7 train from 34th St. Hudson Yards, by way of an ATM for my bank near there…and no, I don’t see GIDL, because that would be Twilight Zone creepy. I only just made a train in the station heading toward Queens. At Times Square, the next station, an Asian woman (I hate to be general that way—I’d like to say “Chinese,” but I’m just not sure, and after all, I’m “white,” so) a bit younger than I am, got on, simple blue shaded top and slacks, a big purse, and when she saw my face, she smiled a twinkly smile. It’s something I’ve noticed we older women do, a kind of acknowledgement of our survival to this point.

During our ride, we bonded over Surprise by Buskers—the first a (not that) young Black man with boom box (oh dear, showtime), whose tricks—swinging on the poles, flipping, kicking the hat up to his head—were so, so old (like doing vaudeville schtick during a standup comedy set) that I found myself giggling, trying to imagine other objects he could surprise us with to kick onto the top of his head—but it’s an attempt at performance art to a deeply indifferent midday subway car; he asked for applause (even he looked bored), and I offered it, and a dollar; the Asian woman across from me then also pulled out a dollar. “Anything for art,” I said, and it heartened the performer, “Thanks to the front row seats,” he said as he got off at the next stop. At the stop after that the mariachi band got on (four pieces!), and the woman and I looked at each other and started laughing. I threw up my hands, “It’s our lucky day!” The band was so out of tune and flat—instruments, singing, all of it—you had to laugh at their loud boldness. Again we pulled out dollars. At my stop, she’d nodded off, and I touched her wrist upon leaving, “Have a good day,” and she roused and smiled and said, “You too,” and off I went home to my “office,” late for a meeting but better for it.

The next day I was off, and as I say, it found me back out searching for signs of art in the universe, and maybe some answers.

Here’s a question: Why are all the literary and artistic icons old? How is it that Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) and Lena Horne (1917-2010) and Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) and Yoko Ono (1933-present), or Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) and Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) and Harry Belafonte (1927-2023) and Salvadore Dalí (1904-1989), are the faces on the postcards in the gift shops? How is it our kids and grandkids still know the Beatles as well as they know Taylor Swift (and how long will Taylor Swift last)?

Paul McCartney said on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke, of the Beatles, “We thought it would last ten years, but it keeps going on and on and on.” I watched a Rick Beato YouTube segment dramatically titled, “Old Music Is Killing New Music.” Beato, who listens to all the latest as well as classics on Spotify and YouTube, wondered why it was that ca. 1970 bands like Creedence Clearwater Revival or the Doobie Brothers could still get one billion streams, while many newer artists had a fraction of that. It was a fascinating analysis, starting with the fact that the music business—a 20th Century phenomenon (before recording, the only music anyone heard was live)—was about what teenagers were listening to. The fan girls of Frank Sinatra (the original bobbysoxers) were younger than the singer; the screaming fan girls of the Fab Four, who were around age 20 when they broke through, were younger teens. So music is generally for young people, and young people age. And also our cultural tastes change, and while not displaced totally by trends, in popular terms orchestral music gave way to jazz, which eventually gave over to ballad and swing crooners, and then the years of crooning gave way to rock ’n’ roll, which was popular concurrently with heavy metal, soul, techno music, R & B, rap, and hip hop, back to the power ballads.

And I think today’s pop music is often way less interesting than the old stuff. I found myself thinking again of Aristotle (if you follow my posts), “The ideas are hard, and so the reading is hard.” To produce a record in the age of Autotune and synthesizers and songwriting by committee, there’s less craft than at a time when four guys who played their own instruments, and well, sat with mixers in a studio for hours and days and weeks, going sound by sound by sound to get the tracks (written by one or two people) and record right.

Listening to new popular music, I’ve found the subjects of contemporary songs are as follows: love, sex, getting high, surviving a breakup. That’s about it. The subjects of songs in the 1970s include but are not limited to: love, sex, getting high, breaking up, sure, but in wildly poetic, varied, and nuanced ways (Blue, The Stranger, Born to Run, Rumours, Rocky Mountain High, Bad Girls, Blood on the Tracks, Wish You Were Here, Led Zeppelin III come quickly to mind, with more song subjects than those noted, and really I could just list and list and list) and in there was also political protest, environment and natural world concerns, seeing America, living out dreams, ending the Vietnam War—so many one-hit wonders as well as continuations of long careers.

Because it’s all about careers. Music—all art, really—changes with the years, the developments, the technology, the culture. Or it should. Most bands, let’s face it, have short careers, and they make room for new artists.

Does the continued presence of the long-lived artist kill new artists? Why the longevity?

Talented as they are, I can’t really imagine the faces of Billie Eilish or Drake or Ed Sheeran selling on post cards at a MoMA gift shop. You know what I mean? No one now feels like they’ll be iconic in their artistry like that. (Maybe Adele?) I tried to name a visual artist and picture their face. First, can you name a museum-quality famous contemporary visual artist? (Kara Walker came to mind, and Kehinde Wiley). Second, can you picture their faces? (No.) And maybe that’s unfair—everyone knew Hemingway and Picasso and Stein and Van Gogh, but I have no idea what Cezanne looked like. Not everyone is an icon that way. And we do love icons.

I’m not sure why I think any of this is important, but with air buds and phones, everyone on the subway or at home is having an individual art experience, streaming from Spotify or going down a Google Choose-Your-Own-Adventure rabbit hole (without know that the “rabbit hole” is not a “worm hole” because it’s an allusion to Alice in Wonderland, another old work of art in our curiously limited common culture that we still reference because there’s been nothing to replace it, and why is that?) And who’s to know what’s not AI?

It’s why I cherish theater and live music and trips to museums. You see and hear the work of human hands in the presence of other humans, even if we are having our individual experiences. At MoMA I saw the Marcel Duchamp retrospective, and what a great time. I smiled all the way through it—what a range of creativity, an artist who helped break open the art world, followed his own voice, changed it up. I couldn’t believe all those works were by the same person.

(I think that’s why I love Billy Joel so much as a musician—the same guy who wrote Glass Houses and “Uptown Girl” did The Nylon Curtain. I love to see creative forces adapt to the changes in the artists and the times.)

In a time of so much distress, existential crises of our making, and indifference to suffering at levels I cannot imagine at least partly as a result of state run media suppression of truths, I’d like to encourage you to get out there at get your art on, find good stuff, share it, promote it, enjoy it with others.

I ended my week at Jar Bar here in Queens with a young artist from my building, whose husband tends bar there, and her mom and friend—we three were aged 62-64, and we chose music for the digital algorithm-infused juke box, and we all agreed on Yes, “I’ve Seen All Good People.” We closed the bar down. So there is something for your Sunday.

Sending love, art, hope, DAMMIT,

Miss O’

Only Connect: A guide to throwing a word and why

On the N Train downtown from Queens Friday evening, a man got on at 59th Street. He asked, “Does this go to 49th?” Yes, I said, but he didn’t hear. “49th?” he said again to an oblivious car. YES, I said louder. He waved a thanks and got on. I turned to a younger woman looking at me, and said, “At least, it’s supposed to,” as another little man got on, grinning with an accent, “Brooklyn? Brooklyn?” and I called out, YES, and he got on and the door closed. The younger woman said, “You’re the subway tour guide.” “I was a school teacher,” I said, “brought students here for field trips.” I paused. We were seated in those L-arrangements peculiar to the N-W-Q-R line, so we were catty corner facing one another. A story occurred to me. Do I throw the word?

I threw. “Years ago I got off an exit to use the bathroom at a Wendy’s,” I said, catching her eye and she was attentive, so I continued, “and inside there was this officious kind of woman directing people to the bathroom, explaining, ‘That first stall is broken, keep going,’ and I looked at her and said, ‘You’re a school teacher,’ and she said, ‘Second grade!’ Teachers are fearless like that, and we help.”

The young woman advised, “Wendy’s has the worst bathrooms,” and so it was we chatted at each stop until she got off at 34th St—I was headed to Union Square. We talked about how strangers on the subway don’t chat the way they used to, everyone looking down into their phones, for one thing. She got off at her stop, and I said something about how you never know when you’ll see someone again. She said, “I’m Anita,” and I said, “I’m Lisa.” We said farewell at 34th.

And in NYC, these connections, however tenuous, matter. You are reminding another person, yourself, and anyone listening in, “We are nice people. There are nice people, people who think about things, who observe the world around them, and connect to other people. You can do that too, if you want.”

View from Union Square

Outside at Union Square, I walked University Place toward Washington Square Park, heading to the Skirball Center to hear the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus, in its 45th year—one charter member still singing!—and gave myself time to wander Greenwich Village as dusk rolled in, the best time. In my walks I make a point of making eye contact, smiling—not idiotically, but because it’s a nice thing to do. It’s spring, be here, have this experience. The park is nice.

In the theater, I found my balcony seat. I’d never been to one of these concerts, but I’d learned that my boss was in the chorus, and I knew he’d be glad someone from the office came. Plus, it’s a chance to hear choral music, which I used to hear twice a year when I was a teacher going to high school seasonal choir concerts. I love choral music but never think to seek it out. Beside me to my right sat two young women, aged 30 at most. Like me, they were pouring over the list of names, and I found my boss listed in the basses, which surprised me—I took him for a tenor. Before the show, I’d asked the girls if they were visiting, and I got their stories: one had just moved here from Tennessee with a boyfriend, and the other was visiting because her best friend since preschool (!) was in the NYCGMC. Did I live here? Yes, for 23 years almost, and the recent arrival said, “If you don’t mind my asking, why did you move here?” And thence the story of losing my house to eminent domain, and she asked, “What is that?” And I explained eminent domain, and they were shocked. “They had to pay you, right?” Only because someone told me to ask about it. “What do you do here now?” I gave them every out, to be clear, so they didn’t have to listen to me, and tried to draw them out so they didn’t have to humor me in the story of my life, but weirdly they kept asking questions, learning about a life in textbooks—you’ve heard all this. But it was really sweet, this keen interest from the kids. Hopeful, I think.

The choir entered and arranged themselves on risers—some 250 men, all decked out in their own styles of white, gold, and silver. Long sleeves, short sleeves, net tops, sequined tops; accessories of gold and silver, the common ground the white pants. And I realized I had no idea where my boss would be, so I did what I had to do: I started at the bottom left and worked my way across the rows of faces, one by one by one, during the beautiful medley of “Pure Imagination” and “Over the Rainbow,” and the looking moved me as much as the listening—the unexpected specificity of all those faces, ages, races, sizes, heights, body types, styles of expression—all joined together by their shared struggle and triumph in the face of a hateful society, and meeting us all with love, dammit, love.

Finally, I found my boss, center, fourth row from the top, singing in his silver shirt. Next to me, I heard the girls finding their friend, “the brown shirt,” though there were a few fellows with golden brown tops. I was a little startled that the bff girl, during the performance, kept checking her texts; and at two or three moments she got up and went outside for several minutes at a time. At one point she returned and put her head on her friend’s shoulder. I’m glad I’d talked to them beforehand, because I might have been super annoyed and said something to her—but I couldn’t help feeling, because of our recent connection, that the bff girl had something very serious going on back in Knoxville, and she was only here in New York because she wanted to be here to support her friend. After the show, I never remarked on anything except to say, “I hope you gals have a great visit,” and off they went.

Out on the sidewalk, on the lookout, I saw my boss come outside looking for someone, turning to go back in when I caught him. He looked, his eyes got wide, and he embraced me—wouldn’t let go. Thanked me for coming, wanted to know how they sounded. “Great!” And they did. Then he said, “I have to thank you for being a rock on this project,” speaking of our work life, and it’s in these outside, joyful places we can tell people what we are thinking, what we don’t express. Nothing went to my head, believe me, and we parted with a wave as I set off back across Washington Square.

Back to a Queens-bound W Train at 14th St, a woman who looked like Taraji P. Henson (whom I’d just seen Monday in Joe Turner’s Come and Gone in the Broadway revival, and it’s splendid), in full glam mode, got on with her (I think) son; she sat down beside me, turned to me with her big lashed eyes and said, “You are so [unheard].” I said, “I’m sorry?” “Beautiful,” she said, “you are just beautiful.” Gray-haired ancient me said, “Thank you, so kind,” “I call what I see,” she said, and I added, truthfully, “You are gorgeous,” and she said, “I’ll take it.” We smiled. The young man, a big teddy bear, was standing with his phone, and I asked if he wanted to sit and I’d change seats—no, he’s good at the pole—and I admired his really cool green plaid coat.

And I share all these mundanities—here adding the glam woman’s call to me at 34th Street, where they were getting off (a lot of connecting trains lead there), “You have an amazing night,” and I said, “You too!”—because the whole evening had built to good fellow feeling, connections without fear, with compliments, good humor, hope; I was about as peaceful as I’d been in months.

May all your puddles have petals. Queens

This afternoon I took a break from work to run to the post office to mail a friend a gift of notebooks I’d picked out for her at the MoMA P.S. 1 gift shop in Long Island City yesterday. There was a line—six or eight people, only one person working a window (of course), but it was that really nice Korean lady who is super efficient and helpful and unfazed by all the different needs—a little family of three finishing a passport application for their baby, a woman in need of a money order, artist-sellers with envelopes and packages with special needs for sending. The worker asked a woman customer if she wanted to pay for tracking, and she’d said no, but a woman three people behind me in line said something to her in Spanish, and the customer said, “Oh, si, si,” and this other woman called to the postal worker, “She does want the tracking, she didn’t understand,” and I smiled at her (I was next to go up) and she said, “I’m bilingual but I couldn’t think of the word for tracking,” and the woman just in front of her turned around and told her the word. She practiced it. Amazing. I said, “I only speak one language, and I lose words all the time,” I reached in the air, “Words!” and she smiled. I went up, got the package mailed, and as I left, the translating woman caught me with her voice, “Have a good day,” and I said, “You too!”

Now here’s the crazy thing: As I’m going out the door to the little alcove area, I held the door for a woman with packages, and another woman in sunglasses walked in behind her, and as I went through the alcove to the street door, I hear, “Lisa?” and the voice takes off her sunglasses and I look and she looks and she says, “The train,” and I say, “Anita?” We couldn’t believe it, each figuring the other lived in Astoria, where the N-W Trains originate. She said she couldn’t stop thinking about things I’d said, especially about how you never know when you’ll see people, and there we were. Turns out, we live a block from each other. Go know.

So here’s what I’m saying: I think the only way we beat these fucking corporate Republicans and Democrats at their stupid power and insider training games and actually get shit done for us, the People, is to 1) come out and vote in droves; and 2) connect, connect, connect, connect. Okay?

Sending love,

Miss O’

Word on the subway is, this is beautiful. And who isn’t really? Really. Except some people. You know who I mean.

Offloading our hearts and minds, tempest-tossed, and the salve of art

O, I have suffered
With those that I saw suffer.
(Miranda, The Tempest, Act I Scene 2)

I read this week that the tech bruhs, so called in current parlance, see the world as being divided into two classes of people: the thinkers and the scrollers. While they, the Thinking Class, devote themselves to higher learning, philosophy, and deep work, affording the same wealth of life experience and cashflow to their offspring, they themselves are engineering the planet so that the rest of us, by which I gather they mean the 99% and our offspring, are relegated to the Scrolling Class, those who work as drones and merely consume whatever they, the Thinkers, put out for profit.

It’s all very Brave New World, a novel I read in high school and can’t shake. Will you be made into an Alpha or an Epsilon? Will you even know? And even if you are an Alpha, watch out if you forget to take your soma (“the opiate of the masses” that replaces religion) and have an original thought. All hell will break loose, and the only antidote is a rebel copy of Shakespeare.

My library was dukedom large enough.
(Prospero, The Tempest, Act 1 Scene 2)

This week the Trump Administration, illegally as usual, dismantled the U.S. Department of Education, spreading all the allocated funds around (which legally only Congress can do, but Republicans) to different departments, so K-12 education is now under the U.S. Department of Labor. Huh? In a seemingly unrelated development, the Trump Administration also demoted a bunch of educational degrees to “nonprofessional,” meaning people pursuing nursing, say, or teaching, will not be able to take out unlimited loans to attain a degree. Not only were the listed degrees for women-dominated professions, the professions listed were those whose members are legally bound to report suspected child abuse. If no one is educated to take those jobs…

Are you following? The Pedo-in-Chief is terrified of the release of the Epstein Files, and his Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, whose husband Vince McMahon was set to go on trial amid accusations of child sexual abuse until a Chicago judge paused the case last December when Linda was announced as Trump’s pick for her new position. Meanwhile, Trump’s former “spiritual advisor” was arrested for child rape and plead guilty. In a call-in show I heard a snippet of this week, a caller demanded to know what was “wrong” about child rape.

The cumulative effect of all this during a single week has made me a bit of an emotional wreck, but it was an independent journalist on Instagram who formally linked all these pieces for me. From Love Ethic Yoga:

Moving K-12 education to the Department of Labor while red states are removing child labor laws & dropping the age of consent to 12 or 14 is a calculated move. The leaders of these departments are pedo📁files or pedo apologists. This is NOT coincidence.

Uneducated children are easy prey.
Hungry children are easy prey.
Homeless children are easy prey.
Unaccompanied minors are easy prey.

These predators are baiting the water. They’re creating the proverbial “fish in a barrel”. Yes, privatization is part of this but we cannot forget how many pedos are in this current admin. We cannot let them get away with this.

I got ill—I mean, Trump and his people are transparently, openly constructing a world where child sexual abuse is normalized, institutionalized, and unstoppable. These “men” want all young women and girls (40% of whom between the ages of 15-44 want to leave the United States, I saw in a recent poll) under their complete control in order to force-breed children, for either labor on behalf of or the sexual pleasure of (white Christian) men. Once the children “age out,” a term I learned on Law and Order: SVU, they will be, one presumes, forced to push through their trauma with slave labor, living in one of the concentration camps being constructed all over the United States.

Utah’s planned mega-shelter should be like a jail for homeless people, one widely embraced group says

This is the Brave New United States of America, friends.

It’s more than hard to take—it’s impossible. This insanity has to stop. We need to see handcuffs and prison bars on the right people, and soon. We know this.

I can’t take in everything—you can’t either. So while I know there’s Israel’s defiance of the ceasefire, and Russia’s wish-list labeled a “peace agreement” by Trump and Rubio (rejected, thank goodness) by Zelensky; protests in Charlotte and Raleigh over ICE raids; so much, so much, my god, it was the children and their protectors I focused on, “offloading” the rest, more or less.

This week on a work Zoom call, a colleague mentioned that there is always work or training or something that we simply have to “offload.” It’s not a term I knew—but I got it. You just pass that conceptual understanding to someone, maybe a spouse who gets plumbing or a coworker who is good at Excel, and you don’t worry about trying to learn that thing, much less master it. You only have the capacity for so much, and recognizing that is not a bad thing. (That said, we all have to trust in our capacity to learn new things, and try to do that, even though in my early 60s I’m finding that I have to immerse myself with the focus of a monk to his devotions to do something as complex and unintuitive as Jira (if you don’t know, don’t ask), say, but it’s reassuring to know that I can still do it, if more painstakingly.)

Speaking of offloading: I no longer have a creative life in the recognizable sense. I’m sorry about it, but between taking care of family, holding grief, learning new things on the job, and this fucking administration’s atrocities, I had to let something go, and that was it—and it’s no great loss to the world, obviously. That out of the way, I’d like to celebrate the achievements of women artists whom I know as friends. In a world, and more specifically a nation, that doesn’t value women, children, innocence, creativity, or truth, here’s some art you need.

  • Read Amanda Quaid’s debut poetry collection No Obvious Distress, which explores her (still) young life with Stage IV metastatic mesenchymal chondrosarcoma (learning the pronunciation of which seems to be more trouble from some people than her years of treatment, so say the name) in all the ways;
  • Read Anna Citrino’s fourth collection, Stories We Didn’t Tell, which explores the unspeakable hardships and abuses of her American prairie women ancestors, based on the poet’s decades of research, in rich language;
  • Watch Patricia E. Gillespie’s documentary, The Secrets We Bury, which I saw at IFC here in New York in its premiere screening this week, about a true crime, told with love and empathy and not sensationalism;
  • Listen to Patti Smith’s Horses (1975). (Envy me my Row X seat at The Beacon Theater on Broadway Friday night in New York City to see Patti Smith and her Band play the shit out of Horses in its 50th Anniversary Year, plus encores of classics. Patti also spat, twice, and it was glorious.)

So lest you think Miss O’ has given up on art, I haven’t, and I hope you haven’t either. There is nothing on this earth as satisfying as a creative act, something you can point to and say, “I made that.” There was nothing, and now there’s something, and I did it. And the world is more colorful and right and full than it was before you created that thing, however small, even making a smile happen on a stranger’s face in a notebook store, which I did on Friday night before the concert. I did that. That thing, there? You did that. Not AI, not engineered by some tech bruh, or ordered on you by some basement-dwelling podcaster or a bottom feeder in Washington. You. Just you.

Let’s stop scrolling together and get seriously radical in creative community. Take a moment to read. To be quiet. And then connect.

Here’s Mr. Rogers on the value silence from Charlie Rose, which is a clip I hope you watch. “My, it’s a noisy world,” he says, and it is. There’s more he goes on to say from his 1994 book, You Are Special, including about his professor, Dr. William Orr, who told him, “You know Fred, there is one thing that evil cannot stand, and that is forgiveness.” Take a minute with that. As a reader, Rogers says that the white spaces between the paragraphs are more important than the text, by which he means that if you aren’t using silence to reflect on what you are reading, you are missing the point of the endeavor. You can see more clips of Fred Rogers here. “A great gift an adult can give to a child is to let the child see what you love in front of them.” Whether it’s car repair, lawn maintenance, playing cello, fixing things, reading, singing, cooking, telling stories, dancing, whatever it is (note: what you love, not what you exploit)—that is the gift. I think I try to do that in life—to show love of life in greeting others. It’s tiny—I’m not a worldwide creative power like Patti Smith—but really it’s about being present, as Rogers says, moment to moment (and it’s the most important work in rehearsing a show, as shown me by director Maureen Shea). Doing things even a little larger than ourselves, then, in presence, is the point. Mr. Rogers only cared to be recognized if it made a child feel special—Fred Rogers liked “not the fancy people,” but regular people, and he aspired to “be the best receiver I can ever be—graceful receiving of what someone gives us; we’ve given that person a wonderful gift.”

Miss O’ most gracefully received.

The play I’ve been quoting here interstitially, The Tempest, is my favorite Shakespeare play; in some ways it’s like a compilation reel of all his best ideas, and his final play and only original plot, his retirement play. I’ve seen four productions of it—at the Globe in London, with Vanessa Redgrave as Prospero (it was awful); at the Shakespeare Theater in Washington, D.C., directed by Garland Wright, which still ranks as the top theater experience of my life (even after seeing Hamilton and Gypsy with Patti LuPone); one at Classic Stage Company downtown, with Mandy Patinkin (okay); and the fourth at St. Ann’s Warehouse, an all-women cast set in a women’s prison, directed by Phyllida Lloyd, with Harriet Walter as Prospero (fantastic). The most famous speech of the play, by Prospero, comes in Act IV, and I always think of it when eras end, as well as even a simple good thing, and especially a life:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on: and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.
(Prospero, The Tempest, Act 4 Scene 1)

In the final act of the play, Prospero’s daughter newly in love sees all the possibility of life, and this is from where Aldous Huxley took his dystopian novel’s title:

O, wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,
That has such people in’t.
(Miranda, The Tempest, Act 5, Scene 1)

Sure, love is wildly naive, but it’s the beginning of everything. There’s a new world to be made. Let’s stop the fucking fuckers and do that.

Sending love, philosophy, music, poetry, creativity, all the good church,

Miss O’

The People Have the Power: Patti Smith and her band, The Beacon Theater, NYC, 11/21/25, the 50th Anniversary of Horses. Photo by LO”H. This was church.

Erasure Augmentation Fragmentation

Fragmentation Erasure Augmentation

I learned

in channel flipping

David Bowie assembled phrases and words

on strips of paper

cut from texts or written out

by hand

strips

arranged

at random

his listeners

called them lyrics

Bowie called it fragmentation

performed it to music

we danced

Katrinka Moore’s Thief

assemblage

poetry

taken from texts

through the process of erasure

makes meaning

different

same

fragmentation

makes you resee

text inside text in potential

and you find yourself

trying it out too

Earthquakes lightning strikes volcanic eruptions

flash floods and flash mobs

instead of FEMA

overrun by

concentration camp

guards worth more than teachers

pledge allegiance

pedophiles more revered

than field workers

In fragmentation

our country

our short attention spans

short circuited by shock

no common culture

no common causes

only

my tower of Babel

Our task

to augment with words

fill join complete connect

the empty spaces

make beautiful meaning

uncovering in the erasure

what was erased

only better

It’s not stealing

if the words and spaces move you

if the word spaces make you cry

if the words spaces open

the possible

Miss O’s Fragmentation Booklet, with apologies and gratitude to Anton Chekhov

Artists

anticipate

are attuned to

act out

splintering fracturing factioning

the fragmenting

all our children will know

of this life

this world

is hate heat hardship

or is it

cut a strip

erase

augment

give it a good beat

hold it out to me

let’s dance

In memoriam, Andrea Gibson, 1975-2025.

Some Art Belongs in the Kitchen

Art as Independence Day

I started this missive sitting in my Queens living room, hours after the Big Beautiful Bill passed the House, again, and for all time; windows open, ceiling fan going, storms on and off, listening to The Land of Hope and Dreams Tour, Bruce Springsteen live in Manchester, May 14, 2025. God I love this artist, wobbly voice and all—all the artistry is fully there, the heart, the defiance of authoritarianism, the humor, the joy. Bruce is all that is good in America, or was, or can be. Can you imagine anyone—any sentient working American human choosing to throw their lot in with a monster like that whiny nepo baby Trump poser president over a true American like Springsteen, son of working class Irish and Italians, creator of some of the greatest songs of the 20th and 21st centuries, who is living out a true and mythic American Dream—rock star—through his own talent and hard work? I really can’t.

And here we are.

I know I’ve written about this before, about the importance, culturally in America, of The Ed Sullivan Show. From the 1950s to the 1970s, Ed presented an hour-long weekly variety show that had it all—the ridiculous magic tricks and comedy of low vaudeville to Broadway musical moments, opera, and popular music all the way to the Rolling Stones; the performers were whites, Blacks, Hispanics, young and old, men and women, everyone. It was a total melting pot of America, and it was in all the living rooms of anyone who could afford to own a television set and all their visiting friends who couldn’t. Common culture. Sure, there was the KKK and horrific shit all around, but no one really looked down on or was suspicious of anyone for loving both Johnny Cash and Leonard Bernstein. There was room and respect for both.

And no one, or few, back in the day, really didn’t want their kids to get an education. Thanks to public education, I read, the literacy rate was 80% by 1875. And that is an extraordinary achievement. All that advancement, one we have taken for granted, now could rapidly change.

Look, I know there are snobs all around, hurting others’ feelings, from Meryl Streep’s dissing wrestling on an awards broadcast to Donald Trump’s hatred of anything culinary beyond fast food. But the thing is, the free radio and the free television allowed equal access to all the art, so-called high and low—regardless of where you came from, you were allowed to discover and enjoy cartoons and classic films, sitcoms and crime dramas, bluegrass and jazz and opera. Whatever. Libraries made books free to read. Schools had kids do art shows. Everybody could go.

The shame of “high art,” as it’s often framed (as it were), from painting to classical music, is that all the plush carpet and crystal seems designed to make viewers and audiences either of it or not of it. The maestro Leonard Bernstein, a Jewish bisexual composer and conductor and communist, wanted to open up all that classical music to everyone, and did so with his New York Philharmonic family and children’s concerts, radio broadcasts, and a television variety show, too.

Sure, some music feels right in symphony halls, some on back porches; some art is best encountered while in the care of a museum, and some art fits just right on the wall of a bar. I want to live in a country where all of that is okay with everyone, and everyone enjoys access.

A few years ago, I bought some art by my talented friend Jodi Chamberlain. One thing she suggested about her current work, and which I passed on to my friends for whom I’d bought her pieces as gifts, “My art does really well in kitchens.”

And it really does. It’s a very cool thing to recognize about one’s work. You might think all art belongs in a curated living room, but really a kitchen is a totally wonderful place to have art. It’s underrated as a location.

Julia Child by Jodi Chamberlain, ca. 2022, collage, ink, color on paper.
My friend Richard with his new art, perfect for dishwashing contemplation.

The arts are and ever were the great civilizers, with civilization coming from the Latin root, “civilis,” meaning “relating to a citizen,” and also, “courteous.” Hence, civilized. There’s a thought. At some point not long ago, the National Endowment for the Arts became a Republican cudgel, the arts being blamed for all of the problems of a world that included (gasp) everyone. Sesame Street was radical in teaching all children letters and numbers, Mister Rogers too kind and loving. You know, un-American. Unlike blood sucking billionaires, who paradoxically fund a lot of the arts, so there’s that.

Back in October of 2020, when Trump (whose idiocy had killed some one million citizens during Covid) was running for re-election, Bruce Springsteen read Elayne Griffin Baker’s poem on his radio show, the poem that begins, There’s no art in this White House, and his reading is as important as Baker’s words:

There’s no art in this White House.

There’s no literature, no poetry, no music.

There are no pets in this White House, no loyal man’s best friend, no Socks the family cat, no kids’ science fairs.

No time when the president takes off his blue suit red tie uniform and becomes human, except when he puts on his white shirt and khaki pants uniform and hides from the American people to play golf.

There are no images of the First Family enjoying themselves together in a moment of relaxation.

No Obamas on the beach in Hawaii moments, or Bushes fishing in Kennebunkport.

No Reagans on horseback, no Kennedys playing touch football on the Cape.

Where’d that country go?

Where did all the fun, the joy and the expression of love and happiness go?

We used to be the country that did the Ice Bucket Challenge and raised millions for charity.

We used to have a President that calmed and soothed the nation instead dividing it, and a First Lady who planted a garden instead of ripping one out.

We are rudderless and joyless.

We have lost the cultural aspects of society that make America great.

We have lost our mojo, our fun, our happiness, our cheering on of others.

The shared experience of humanity that makes it all worth it.

The challenges and the triumphs that we shared and celebrated.

The unique can-do spirit that America has always been known for.

We are lost.

We have lost so much in so short a time.

– Elayne Griffin Baker

Art is where it starts, where life starts, where civility starts: without a love of the arts, there is no love of humanity. Without an appreciation of human craftsmanship, there’s no respect for any human endeavor beyond destruction. Wrecking balls are easy—the toys of little boys.

And once again, in 2025, we are lost; not only lost, utterly unmoored and alone out at sea, morally, ethically, practically. It’s horrible.

Bruce Springsteen is my favorite kind of artist because his music can reach anyone; he can play dive clubs, massive stadiums, and Broadway with equal facility. All the great artists can do this. And great artists want all the audiences, every cross section, to join in. In Putting It Together, James Lapine’s memoir of the creation of the Broadway musical Sunday in the Park with George, one of the actors recalled seeing Johnny Cash in the front row of one of the previews, and they all were excited and also worried he’d leave after intermission—and so happy when he didn’t! I love that. Thinking of that musical—one of everyone’s favorite movie scenes is the Art Institute of Chicago montage of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, featuring the pointillist painting on which Sunday in the Park is based. Art, as director John Hughes knew, really is for everyone; in an interview, Hughes called that museum his “refuge” as a kid.

You know who doesn’t want everyone to engage with art? The autocrats, the controllers, the fascist creeps. They will do anything they can to prevent you, the people, from knowing about, engaging with, or being moved by art. Because they are afraid of it. Books, drag shows, finger painting, Broadway. The autocrats are terrified of art, I think, because they might have a feeling they cannot name or control, and there won’t be a starving refugee nearby to take it out on when they do.

I have this fantasy of rounding up all the MAGA leaders and the Heritage Foundation cultists and the architects of “America First” redux, putting them all in Depend diapers, tying them to lounge chairs, muzzling their mouths, and forcing them to watch and listen to loads of cultural things that would both expand and nourish their souls, like all day and all night. Bruce Springsteen live, obviously; David Bowie singing “Fame” on Soul Train; Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake; Yo-Yo Ma playing Bach; maybe the documentary Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am, the classic film Casablanca, James Baldwin on Dick Cavett; so many singers and musicians, surely Nina Simone; Hamilton. There is just SO MUCH joy to be had. I might open with Mister Rogers talking to them all from his old shows, telling them about love, to look for the helpers. Close with Johnny Cash’s video “Hurt.” On a loop until their hearts explode.

Their empire of dirt, indeed.

I just watched again the American Masters episode on Janis Ian, whose song “Society’s Child,” written at age 13 about an interracial relationship ca. 1962, was a revelation to me. Ian toured Apartheid South Africa in the late ’80s with an integrated band and demanding integrated audiences and hotels—and she got them. Though punished for two years by the United Nations, she said she didn’t believe in cultural boycotts because who knows whose heart might be changed by the music. Apartheid ended in 1994, and who’s to say her art didn’t help that along?

Too many in America fear information as well as art. It’s important to remember that art is not about information, it’s about wonder, about contemplation, reflection. Mister Rogers talks about that. All the noise of this world. There’s such meanness, too. Art can be such a restorative. Why can’t people focus on all that beauty and wonder and just leave poor immigrants alone? Because we know, don’t we, that if these malcontents and malicious assholes had art in their lives, they might be less afraid of learning all kinds of things, and they’d be more peaceful, maybe. All I know is that all my circles of friends and family love cultural things, and we are fun and kind people who never ever think of new ways to kill and cage “other” people. Go, us.

So on this Independence Day, perhaps our last, I’m going to meditate on a way of life that makes me happy, filled with art and music and funny people. Art takes you outside yourself as a way of going back inside yourself, only deeper, and you come out again, only different, better. And then you do it again.

Art by Jodi Chamberlain, ca. 2022, Covid times tourists, NYC

Remind your friends, art is everywhere, at all kinds of prices, and you can put your art finds anywhere you want. Go get some art. Move it around. Try out all the rooms.

Miss O’s kitchen, with assorted art.

Maybe start in the kitchen.

Love,

Miss O’

A Vision’s Just a Vision if It’s Only in Your Head

The state of the art of putting us (back) together

It’s Sunday in America, a new, greater America, where already thanks to tariffs, grocery and drugstore shelves are going bare, especially of paper products, because most of our wood for paper comes from (check notes) Canada. So. Fucking. Great. When I’m not freaking out about the country, I focus my mind on art. Then I remember that Trump, who is clearly not really running the country, decided to spend his valuable time to get “elected” by the “board” to head the Kennedy Center, which just two days ago quietly cancelled all LGBTQ+ Pride events for 2025. But because this is Trump, his own big Kennedy Center celebration of his First 100 Days sees him ousted from that same Kennedy Center for “contract violations.” You can make this up.

But really, this shit show is serious. In an interview on Democracy Now, Maria Ressa (6-minute mark), recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, draws disturbingly urgent parallels between the behavior of the Trump and his administration and former president of the Philippines Rodrigo Duterte, now in the custody of the International Criminal Court (ICC). Trump only learns from the best people. Ressa concludes that if Trump and his FBI and his ICE aren’t reined in by summer, our democracy will be obliterated and most likely for good. She’s just following history.

And the more I read and listen, the more correct I feel I was back in 2020 when I told all the liberals, who are as addicted to Trump as the MAGA who drink his blood, that they/we need to ignore the Big (Burger) King and target the minions who do his bidding, target the structures, and more than that, message the alternatives in actionable, relatable ways, not from On High. For however well-meaning AOC and Bernie are in their Farewell to Democracy tours, and Cory Booker for his stand-ins and sit-ins, they have no actual strategy for saving the country; they do not think like generals, and we need generals right now.

I read about a recent viral Facebook post claiming that Liz Cheney penned a letter saying, “Dear Democratic Party, I need more from you. You keep sending emails begging for $15, while we’re watching fascism consolidate power in real time.” According to Snopes and PolitiFact, there’s no evidence that Cheney wrote it, but you can tell that the average Democrat who probably did is trying hard to get our party’s attention, because Democratic Leaders are so sure they don’t need We, the People, for advice, only cash.

I’ve been trying to understand the Democratic Leadership’s “vamp until ready” stasis. In the theater, the orchestra pit plays music over, and over, or “vamp,” at moments of a show, to cover a set change. In the case of the U.S., there’s a regime change, or a shift from a presidency to a regime, and if this were a show, it would be as if instead of playing bars of music on repeat, the orchestra itself was replacing instruments with jack hammers and table saws.

I mentioned in my last missive that I’ve been rereading Sondheim’s lyric memoirs, and the other night I came across this, and it made me think of the floundering Democrats:

“The point of a tryout is to fix a show, and by the end of the Chicago run, we should have been making changes in the scenes and the songs and the staging. But we couldn’t, because the day after the show opened, Hal [Prince, director] had to go to Germany to receive an award and then leave for vacation. Not that he thought the show was in perfect shape when he left; he simply felt that whatever changes we wanted to make could be accomplished on paper and put into practice later when we went back into rehearsal for the Washington engagement….

“It was a serious miscalculation. We were all experienced enough to know that the time to fix a show is when it’s still raw, before it has started to become slick and rigid, when no one, neither the creators nor the performers, not to mention the audience is satisfied. Without constant attention while a show is taking shape, it doesn’t need many performances before it becomes so efficient that what’s bad becomes acceptable.”

— Stephen Sondheim on the making of the show Bounce, 2003 (from Look, I Made a Hat, 2011, p. 270)

Kids, I think to myself, we don’t have a lot of time to fix this democracy. We have to attack now, while it’s all still raw, while the chaos is still real and awful. Do not relent. Call and email your representatives, keep talking to friends. I long for leadership, but it’s not forthcoming.

As we watch our prices rise and shelves empty because shipments cease, as more and more all of us can only focus on basic survival, the energy for revolution will wane—I think that’s what the MAGA Men and their little MAGA Barbies are banking on—and it can’t. We still have to do that work inside ourselves and push it out.

This week, I happened on an episode of Craft in America on Public Television (soon to be RIP unless we stop it, somehow), in which I saw a quilt artist—that’s right, the photo below is of a quilt. The quilt was based on a photograph of a Nicaraguan garment worker in a sweat shop.

Portrait of a Textile Worker, Quilt by Teresa Agnew

On artist Teresa Agnew, from Craft in America:

“Terese Agnew’s work has evolved from sculpture to densely embroidered quilts by a process she calls drawing with thread. Her themes are environmental and social. Her most notable quilt to date is the Portrait of a Textile Worker, constructed of thousands of clothing labels stitched together, contributed by hundreds of sympathetic individuals, labor organizations, Junior League members, students, retired and unemployed workers, friends, family and acquaintances worldwide. The resulting image is about the exploitation and abuse of laborers, the by-products of globalization and the insatiable American appetite for goods.”

The quilt was created using solely garment labels. Zoom in.

I learned that Agnew found her P.O. box filled day after day with volunteer labels, mostly from people she didn’t know, all women, all who believed in her vision for this piece, her purpose, her message, and in this art form. All these people came together, and Agnew didn’t even know how they learned she was working on the piece.

I think of that artist, and I think of Sondheim, on the road with three iterations of a show that started as Wise Guys, and become Bounce, a decade later finished as Road Show, bit by bit, putting it together, as it were, because it was something he and his collaborators believed in.

If so many people can work that hard to make art that matters, can’t we call work together to demand a nation, a planet, we all want to live on? As Sondheim says,

A vision’s just a vision if it’s only in your head.

If no one gets to see it, it’s as good as dead.

America, your Miss O’ is looking at all of us and thinking, “We need a do-over, a rethink.” Fast. We overproduce all the wrong stuff, overconsume the wrong stuff, overwork in the wrong ways, overpay for the most basic things, like healthcare and rent, and overthink everything about the past instead of overthinking for the present and the future. We need to take all these scattered feelings and thoughts and make, build a national living quilt from all the tattered bit and leftovers, craft it for warmth and strength and beauty for generations and generations.

How many metaphors can you handle this Sunday?

It’s still spring, we are still alive. More to do. Let’s do it.

Sending love to all,

Miss O’

Not Waiting for Directions (Home)

When you just want to do it yourself but can’t

“Dear Saint Anthony, look around, something’s lost and can’t be found.”

~ Catholic prayer to the patron saint of, among other things, lost objects

“When evil-doing comes like falling rain, nobody calls out ‘stop!’”

~ Bertolt Brecht

“Never start a piece with a quotation.”

~ Nora Ephron

Do you have the feeling that we are all living through a Kafka short story? “The Trial,” perhaps, or “The Refusal,” maybe? When I was home in Virginia the other week, I asked my brother Jeff if he’d ever read Ray Bradbury’s “The Sound of Thunder,” and when I recounted the plot, he realized he once saw a bad movie version; and it came up because, as we caught the latest news out of America, I mentioned that I keep looking for a smashed butterfly on my shoe.

For some reason, I got on a mailing list for Catholic charities and I often receive “free gifts” of amulets and charms and bracelets and necklaces of St. Anthony. Coincidentally, he’s my favorite patron saint.

Like me, in addition to those stories, maybe you are thinking of that Twilight Zone episode, “It’s a Good Life,” where that evil kid keeps wishing everyone who displeases him away to the cornfield, and no one will stop him out of fear, and also love, because his parents choose to save him and let the rest of the world disappear. In the same way, Trump bastardizes the Kennedy Center even as he plans to close or demolish the Museum of African American History, and Musk eyes selling off the National Gallery treasures to “save money.” Wishing all our history away to the cornfield. And, echoing Brecht, there’s no one to stop them.

Or is there? Reading historian Heather Cox Richardson the other day was a tiny balm, as she recounts recent events and sees shifting winds. I’ll take it.

Your Miss O’ has been lying low these past weeks, visiting aged parents, aging brothers, a young nephew and vibrant sister-in-law. Also watching birds, smelling lilac in bloom, watching red azaleas pop, walking around my childhood block in drizzle. In addition to watching classic movies and “Harriet Tubman” on PBS and “Poetry in America” episodes with brother Jeff during the week, I caught A Complete Unknown on my last night, the weekend nephew James visited. James just wouldn’t go to sleep in his designated living room, what with all the excitement generated by middle-aged relatives, so he happily sort of watched the movie with the grownups, not understanding any of it. Fortunately, there’s no nudity and little in the way of bad language, but at the point where Joan Baez gets out of her bed where Bobby Dylan is sleeping, only in her underwear and a tank top, four-year-old James commented, “She forgot to put on her pants.” Uncle Jeff chucked, “He doesn’t miss anything, does he?”

If you haven’t seen that Dylan bio pic, for me the most interesting storyline was the one featuring Pete Seeger, played beautifully by Edward Norton. The movie helped me understand this mystery surrounding the rift that formed between Dylan and his early supporter and champion Seeger. Their link was Woody Guthrie, suffering from Huntington’s chorea at the movie’s opening, the disease never named or explained, as Hollywood does. I won’t belabor the plot, but essentially when Dylan went electric at the Newport Folk Festival, Seeger was dismayed and dejected, not because he hated rock, but because it was the end of his dream. For years and years, Seeger saw in Guthrie, and in the work of folk musicologist Alan Lomax and in folk musicians like Joan Baez and Odetta, the opportunity to proclaim a unifying voice in American music. Amidst the turmoil of the civil rights movement and the communist accusations of HUAC, the folk music movement offered the possibility of a true common ground across race and social class and political affiliation, youth and old age. In Dylan, Seeger saw the last piece of his dream, a young, galvanizing voice, filled with unendingly creative songs of love and political revolution, fresh and original but also connected to our American past.

But Bob Dylan was an artist first, an individual all the way, with no interest in marches or politics, not really, and not at all interested in unifying a nation. The rest is history, Highway 61 Revisited, and unending tension and turmoil in America. This is not Bob Dylan’s fault. Pete Seeger meant well, too, but no single person can make us all believe one “us” to be true.

No one, alone, can fix it.

But if something can unify a people, it’s probably music that comes as close as anything. Music and food. Music and food and complaining about noise.

On Thursday morning this week, around 8:30, as I was working when I heard this high-pitched BEEP BEEP BEEP [beat] BEEP BEEP BEEP. Smoke alarm? Tow truck? Work truck backing up? After about 15 minutes of this blaring through my window, I decided to take a walk hoping the cause of the noise would resolve. One 20-minute walk later, I could still hear the beeps from two blocks away. I went on a fact-finding mission. Where I live is like a mixing bowl of sound—finding the source was a confusion to me. I called 311—a wasted half hour of the operator’s frustrated inability to locate where I was on the city map. Feeling crazy at this point, I texted my co-op group, and neighbor Chris took over, agreed with me it was in a trash bag, rummaged, found the culprit—a discarded smoke alarm!—and smashed it. Oh, blessed relief.

In the midst of ICE raids in America destroying families, there are still annoyances like that, you know what I mean? It’s the thing I’ve never understood, not since I watched the 6-day war on Walter Cronkite’s 6 o’clock news when I was James’s age: what are human beings thinking when they annihilate other humans? We have enough little daily problems, don’t we?

If noise rage occasionally unifies us, language never seems to be able to, because as poet Nikki Giovanni said, too many people try to speak English rather than speak through it. Saturday morning, I had to go get bloodwork and urine testing done for my physical this week. Earlier in the week, I’d received an email that my neighborhood LabCorp office “has closed.” Full stop. I was so bummed—the next closest one is in Jackson Heights, about five subway stops away. Instead, the email continued in the next paragraph, there will be a new office…wait. It’s the same address, but one floor up. God I hate it when people can’t fucking communicate. What the email should have said is, “The second floor LabCorp office is closing for two days in order to relocate to the third floor.” Do you see the difference? Why is this hard? Because it is.

When I arrived at 7:45 for my scheduled 8:00 AM appointment, I saw a packed waiting room—highly unusual, but the office is “new,” so one makes allowances. One man there had a son, probably eleven or twelve and clearly on the autism spectrum, chasing him around, keeping him out of lab rooms, out of the hallway. I went to self check in kiosk but saw this sign:

So I went to the window to check in, as directed. The nurse behind the glass, short, dyed black hair, officious—clearly overwhelmed (like her male counterpart) by the double duty of being a receptionist and the technician, came out to the kiosk and said, “Give me your ID, I’ll do it,” and I pointed to the sign, saying, “If it works, I can do it…,” but she was clearly focused on finishing the check in. Again, I pointed out the sign directing us to go to the window. Did she take it down? No. She straightened it. (My seat being nearby, I spent the next 45 minutes explaining to everyone who came in, “It works, ignore the sign.”)

Between the lying sign, the autistic child flying around, the woman who was denied a pregnancy blood test because she didn’t have a doctor’s order, the men needing drug tests for their jobs, and the seats all facing forward staring into the abyss, I felt I was in some kind of play. Not really Kafka, but rather, Samuel Beckett. I was in a Beckett play. I love to see plays but it’s not always great to live them.

True to my heart, to cheer myself earlier this week, I went to The Public Theater to see a collection of short plays by one of my favorite playwrights, Caryl Churchill. As only an artist can, she captures me in this time, even in America. I think the titles say it all.

And that’s the latest. How’ve you been?

Love to all, somehow,

Miss O’

Food, Home, Music

Ways we see some sense, in lists of three

Babies, like you, I am about to simultaneously explode and collapse from rage, numbness, boredom with the stupid, and Dorothy Parker’s “What fresh hell is this?” pounding in my ears, I mean for the LOVE of GOD.

Look, we all of us—all of us—every mother lovin’ one of us—white, brown, black, all the colors; man, woman, trans, all the genders; short, tall, medium, all the heights; ambulatory, prostheticized, wheelchair-bound, all the abilities; Euro, African, American, Indigenous, Indian, Chinese, Korean, all the places; Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, all the faiths–love three things, and I mean LOVE:

1. good food;

2. a comfortable home; and

3. music, whatever that music is.

Watch Home Town on HGTV and tell me you wouldn’t want Ben and Erin to help you make a home for yourself; walk past any bakery in the morning and try to pretend you don’t smell that bread; hear a catchy tune on a radio at the laundromat and not pause and bop. You can’t. Because roots as old as the Big Bang, baby, give us a common consciousness. Eat it.

And for some reason, too many whites in this country think ONLY THEY should have any of those desires, those sensory experiences, those moments. This is insane, it’s psychotic. How do we shake sense into these racist, bereft, sociopaths? Those “Frozen People”? They have become new gold standards for the worst of humanity. Somebody, quick, sick a porch swing, Dolly Parton, and fresh peaches on ’em.

I wish we could cook it out, dance it out, whatever this psychosis is, everybody walking into and out of a Wayfair commercial to create that fulfilling home, and combine all of it into community. It’s all so basic.

Inspired by my friend Susan, who got me making Lists of Three (various categories) and sharing them with her the other night; and colleagues who want to have a Zoom social and talk food, I have listed my dream meals, in honor of Thing One we all love. You’ll pardon me if I’m feeling a need to be elaborate.

Dream Meals

1. Breakfast: my dad’s cheese omelet with American cheese, cooked in bacon grease, with biscuits from The Red Truck bakery in Warrenton, Virginia; coffee from Baruir in Queens.

2. Lunch: the brown bread, Stilton cheese, and tomato chutney Ploughman’s lunch, from the pub in Kent, England, 1992, followed by a cup of Yorkshire tea.

3. Dinner: The fried chicken and collard greens from Mama Dips in Chapel Hill, North Carolina; the hush puppies and sweet tea from the midcentury diner near Seagrove, NC; my mom’s potato salad (sweet relish is the key); fresh-from-the-garden baked sweet potatoes (the way my Appomattox landlady Margaret Stokes from Chesapeake made them), and ice cold fresh sliced tomatoes from the garden.

P.S. Dessert: childhood next door neighbor Frances Christie’s homemade apple pie with the all-butter crust and fresh apples from the Blue Ridge in Virginia.

Dream Home

Very grateful to have been able to build this, over many years, across many lives and houses:

Dream Music

There’s so much not on here, but what can you do? The categories force you to go with your gut. I even surprised myself. (When I lived in my basement during 2017-18, while a friend took my main floor bedroom as she recovered from breast cancer surgery, I missed street noise so much that I found I had to play music on low to sleep. Those CDs? Tony Bennett, The Rodgers and Hart Songbook, and Rosemary Clooney, Songs from the Girl Singer. Every night for nine months. And on the list down there, Rosie was an afterthought; Tony didn’t even make the cut. How?)

Does this get your brain percolating? With a hat tip again to Susan for inspiring me to start remembering all the foods, homes, songs, as well as people and places I like, and the experiences I’ve lived: here’s a little challenge to you, my reader:

In the comments, if you want, give us a List of Three of whatever, no explanations needed, just a label and a list of three. Let’s inspire each other. Let’s connect. Let’s take some recommendations. See what happens.

I could really use reminders of our common humanity. How about you?

Love, love, love,

Miss O’

An Ordinary Day

On missing days of normalcy, and making them

It’s an ordinary Saturday in Queens, which is to say “ordinary” if you aren’t thinking about the fascism. (I really can’t get over the way that Meta bleeps “Nazi” and “swastika” from videos, or that posters have to insert an * somewhere in each of those words so the post passes muster, even as Elon’s and Bannon’s sieg heils are fine.) I am waiting on a 7 Train, only to learn it’s not going all the way to Manhattan, so I have to switch the N or W, so my mind does a little adjustment. It’s all good.

There used to be moments when, as my friend George puts it, it seems Americans are simply going to be inconvenienced to death. Now, unfortunately, and for a long foreseeable future, we are under threat of annihilation. But today, I’m heading to The Chain Theater at 312 W. 36th Street in Manhattan to see the 2 PM installment of their rolling rep One Act Play Festival, and today I don’t want to think about annihilation.

When I arrived at Times Square/42nd Street, I walked through Golda Meir Plaza, struck again that in the 1970s we had female leaders like Meir of Israel and Indira Gandhi of India, Thatcher in ’80s Britain, and that the United States couldn’t even manage one woman in 250 years, choosing an avowed white supremacist dictator, twice, over a highly qualified, democratic woman. And here we are, I think, wondering as I keep walking what will happen to the bust of Meir.

First, I have to go to the ATM, and for some reason my card chip will never work to open the door; another customer, a man in a hood, has a card that opens the door; he engages in no talk. I go in behind him, and I realize I’m shaking. I find I’m afraid to use the machine until I see him at the other machine, and really getting money; I finish before he does, even having to enter my PIN twice to get it right. Odd, having the shakes like that. Or not so odd. Frankly, that’s as fearful as I want to be in life.

It’s nice out, 40s, sun. I walk down 7th Avenue, taking it in, struck again how I can always spot a tourist. I am of New York City, I move that way, more grounded, a bubble of insulation and also awareness. I was a tourist for 20 years before I moved here, so I don’t mean this as criticism or praise; it just is.

I arrive a half hour before the play festival is to start. I see Mary, the director of my friend Colleen’s play, in the crowded lobby, and we hug. I check in at the desk, my friend Tom having bought our tickets online. Our friends David and Barry are also coming, and learning the afternoon is sold out, I go in when the house opens and save us a row, as it’s general seating. An older woman in the row behind me is doing the same thing. (It’s always funny to me how everyone who enters a general seating situation somehow believes they will get to sit alone, empty of audience members around them, and they look at my saved seats with resentment.) The boys show up just before 2 PM, so we don’t get to visit much, and they don’t have time to go out after. I seem to be the only person I know in the city who has nothing but time. Ah, well. Still, being in this community even for a brief time is comforting and energizing. Hopeful.

For the uninitiated: Attending a play festival of new work, especially one-acts, can be a crapshoot. I’ve attended many of these, both as a high school director and as an audience member in New York, and too often only two out of the five or six are well-written, and only one or two are well-acted and directed, and often it’s not the same set of two. So imagine my delight—I knew Colleen’s would be adorable because I’d read the stage directions for it at a workshop—when all five were simply excellent.

The common theme—and this was a really thoughtful grouping—was aging and death. This might sound awfully close to that annihilation I was avoiding, but it wasn’t the case. The first play was a monologue, a 60-year-old son eulogizing his father at the funeral; the second, two old people on the E Train platform; the third an older man trying to make a deal with Death; the fourth was Colleen’s (a play inspired by seeing a plaque in Evanston, Indiana, along the Ohio River, where President-elect James K. Polk was to have stopped his steamship and didn’t disembark), with an old woman (Colleen) and her grandson in 1854, the year Lincoln was really getting started; and the last a gay couple, older men, one who has, we see gradually, dementia. And all of these were by turns serious, funny, sweet, surprising. And ultimately, ordinary, in the best sense. Life lived.

I’ve realized lately that what I crave most in my music, my art, my nature, and my life, even, is ordinariness. I don’t want the surreal, the challenging, the wildly surprising. I get too much of that in unending loops in American society now, breathless, mean, chaotic, and all that hate and chaos, while not remotely sustainable, will be unending for four years at the very least, and if we all don’t stroke out and live to see another election, we may see a divine revolution. Until then, I want mundanity as a life theme.

For example, here’s a task of basic maintenance.
Simple chores. I did the annual bowl oiling during my lunch break one day since I work from home. So restful. Once the oil soaks in, they’re good to go for a year. I oil the cutting boards at least twice a year. Isn’t it nice to focus on that?

As another mundane activity, before leaving for the subway with a half hour to spare once dressed (I took care to pick my ensemble and accessories, knowing no one else would actually care, but it’s my inside feeling that counts), I noticed that I have a lot of loose knobs on my two dressers. One dresser requires a Philips head and one a flathead screwdriver. I keep these in a pitcher by the door—I like to have my tools ready at hand. Knob by knob, I tightened them. In doing this I noticed a few scratches, so I went to my tool closet and found the wax wood filler pencil. And I filled the scratches, and it’s funny how the more you fix the more you see.

And this by the way task was really satisfying. You know what I mean? And centering, before heading out into the chaos of New York’s mass transit.

Why do we have to exist in all this rage and war and hate and aggression and greed and chaos? We all have knobs that need tightening. Why, just because of a few psychotic, damaged men who cannot be satisfied or fulfilled by all the money and power in the world, do all the rest of us have to suffer for all time? Why do other people, people with absolutely no hope at all of either wealth or power, follow them, go psycho with them, and go after all the rest of us? Don’t THEY have knobs?

From the web.

I was thinking too about AI, how the goal is to replace humans, to erase humanity, and that AI cannot tighten knobs. How are we to cope with the attempted erasure of culture, of women’s sovereignty, of black and brown people, of the earth itself, when this desire for annihilation is beyond lunacy? Why can’t we be? Being is hard enough. Knobs come loose. Why can’t we work together to solve real problems?

From the web.

To cope with the whole mess, as I brace for some kind of war, I’m taking more and more pleasure in the very ordinary, like watching people on the subway.

A Study of Knees and Nylons. N Train to Queens. LO’H 2025

I know I can’t be alone in these chaotic feelings. How are you coping? In addition to doing chores, seeing art, and attending the occasional rally, I’m calling politicians and listening to Nina Simone. Followed by Yo-Yo Ma. You?

In the meantime, don’t be a stranger.

Sending love from whatever fresh hell this is,

Miss O’